Aug 26, 2004
sad?troubled?i dunno..juz totally..screwed up..
hi guyz..i'm back again..dis time to bring to u all..something..dat has happened 4 quite sometime le..juz dat i nvr wanted to tok bout it..datz all..
haix..weird har? y am i starting off with a haix? well..probably datz wad all i can say bout da situation i'm bout to tell u all..
today was da tchers day rehearsal, it went pretty okie..no serious glitches..but..1 major problem..the sec 1s are missing..it puzzled mi...but i knew Joon Tat has his own reasons..do i dun question further..tml we will hav da moonlight rhapsody..a CO concert performed at da amphi theatre. it was full hectic day today..5 sumthing..rehearsal end..went downstairs..picked up portable system..and went down to amphi theatre to test it le..dat bloody amp doesn't 1 to work...haix..
okiez..i nid to say it out le..can't take it nemore..i'm lost..seriously..i'm lost..i dunno..i tink it took mi veri long to realise dis..mb datz y i nvr felt tired watching lilo and stitch..i hav been trying to balance out my life properly..but..1 side nvr fulfils the other sides needs..i dunno wad i can do le..on 1 side..i have my beloved cheryl..on the other.. i hav av..and enterprise club to worry bout..
i'm not powerful in mi english..so i can only say in simple terms..av is facing a crisis now..a real crisis..many sec 1s dis yr might not feel it..but those in sec 2 3..can definitely feel dat prescence of something is not right..no matter how right da event goes..something deep down inside..is causing da whole crew to plunge further down dat bottomless pit of failure..disappointment...i dunno..wad elz i can say bout it..i dunno doing an event is 4 wad to u guys? wad u all treat it as? ur duty? u MUZ do it? ur passion? ur interest? or wad? wad??!! to mi..i noe wad i do it 4..i can admit dat..i'm after dat satisfaction of a job well done..yes..i crave 4 dat feeling..i'm also doing it 4 da passion..i dunno y i like it so much..i dun care y either..i juz noe i like it veri much..and i'm going to do gd in it.. do my best..no matter wad event it is..now av..we have ppl..hu do jobs 1/2 pass 6..hu appears to be forced into it..some are juz simply not interested at all....only a small fraction of da whole crew can actually be called totally commited..ppl like..joon tat..eugene..cheong yew...they put all they had into it..i can say they are even more passionate dan mi..yesh..noe y? coz i'm not as committed to my work as they are..i noe dat..but again..dat is a truth i was trying to hide from all these time..i 1 to be totally commited..but i juz can't..theres always a piece of mind..tinking of cheryl...always something there..which will carry mi away from my work..i'm suppose to be taking over as Media I/C..but y i always find myself getting carried away in my work by da mixer? my passion is in sound.. not so much of media..mb datz y..but nonetheless..i do slap myself out of it..i'm given media as my work..i hav to accept it..or elz..itz going to be chaotic in da arrangements...cheryl.. 1 to noe the reason y i dun seem to care bout u when i hav av..itz coz..i scared i care 4 u too much..i screw up my side..tell u a secret..afterworld..i screwed up shamsydar's song..i 4got to stop..becoz i was trying to look 4 u in da hall...now ppl..get wad i mean i'm not fully committed? haix..cheryl..pls..dun tink u are the only 1 with troubles in dis world..i tell u sumthing..u dun get angry..i nvr dared confide in u if i hav ne troubles on my mind.. i nvr mention it 1..coz i noe..u will simply get angry..coz i'm toking something..u hav no interest in..i listened to u..i nvr tok bout christainity in front of u le..i also nvr tok bout av...neither did i tok bout enterprise..well..seldom..veri rarely..i noe u dun like to hear mi tok bout them..but pls..dun stop mi from doing them can? they are my interest..my passion..do u noe..av is facing a dam big crisis now? i nvr told u bout it...do u noe dat if i screw up morning assembly i wuld get 10 demerit? do u even noe wadz my job? now i ask u...sometimes i can tell u...u really dunno the other side of mi...really..mb i dunno urs too..i dunno..
haix...eugene is leaving 4 TJC 4 thru train program joon tat is going to step down next yr...noe wad ppl..in da current comittee members..theres only 2 of them...wad will av do dan? AV crew members..pls..if u are reading dis...especially the sec 1s..not many of u noe bout dis news..do u? now wad i'm requesting from u is a small favour..pls...if u hav to do something..do it gd..proper..do it to ur best.. if u hav totally no interest at all..pls..let us noe..if u hav interest in other departments..pls..let us noe too...dun juz keep quiet..
i always thought.. stanley dat gang..da 5 musketeers...i remember wad av was last time...i always had dis confidence we wuld rebuild it..1 of these days..we wuld..eugene.. mi..wei choy..wai khang..we wuld form 1 new team..we wuld bring av up to wad it was last time...however..dis hope..is now totally dashed..eugene is leaving too.. from da 4..reduce to da even lesser 3..dis is not going newhere...joon tat..if u are reading dis..i suggest..dat we let da lower sec handle more major events? or mb..simply.. juz da lower sec assembly.. i mean da sec 1s..let them run 1 time...all on their own..c how they fare..they nid to really feel da stress and responsiblity b4 they can wake up..
back to myself...juz being myself..everyday..is already tiring 4 mi..on 1 hand..i hav to giv in to cheryl..i hav to take care of her..on the other hand.. i hav av which i'm trying to hard to rebuild it..there is my studies..yea..surprise..many of u might tink dat i heck bout studies 1..truth is..i dun neglect it as well..coz i noe itz importance...my streaming exam is near le...haix...i got so many things inside mi i 1 to say out..but dunno how to put them in words...i juz read eugene's blog and i noticed something.. i had 4gotten about egnaro...oh god..egnaro is..to say da fact..veri unstable now..we are clear blurs and hav no ideas on hand at all 4 now..i dunno how many things i can handle le...i nid a break..mb not a break..but i juz nid..to...gather my thoughts? tink it all over again? tink everything through? sort them out? i dunno...haix..
ppl in av...cheryl darling..i hope u all understand wad i'm toking bout..i hope u all understand my worries..my concerns...i really do hope u all do...kkz..i hav to slp le..tml is veri long day..nid all da slp i can get...cyaz ppl...
Posted at 11:42 pm by gyro-plodder
Aug 17, 2004
lolx..sorri 4 delay in blogs..hehe..
yoz ppl..hehe..sorri so long dan blog arh..i noe alot of u buay song liaoz..hehe..my apologies..=P had been quite bz dis few days..hehe..alrite! 1st up..start with NATIONAL DAY!! lolx..guess wad men..dis yr national day rox!hehe..so happy..so funni those performers..especially da 4/5 performing da song "home"..hahahaz..oh and av..hahaz..cool..it was excellent..or quite lahz..4 such an impromptu event..we dun even noe da order of events at da start..but luckily..everything went quite by expectation..so no major screws..hehe..was quite satisfied lahz..and..oh ya..mi class..got 2nd!! hehe..din wasted our hardwork away 4 nth..lolx..after national day celebrations was da Journey Afterglow..hehe..we were shown a video of da behind da scene of Journey..lolx..to mi..all da memories of da musical juz flow back into mi mind..was nearly move to tears..lolx.. =P oh ya..4 those hu dunno wad i do at musical..i enclose photo..hehe..too bad mixer was blocked by da cd player..hehe..actually i was standing in 4 da sound woman at dat time..as she has not arrived yet..hehe..i was only suppose to operate da cd player even though i noe how to operate da mixer..so bad rite? =P
hehe..i noe i look funni..bleahz..but i kinda like dis pic.. =P haix..fond memories..hehe..hmmmm..okiez..enough of dreaming le..hehe..back to erm..okiez..fast forward to..hmmm..ya..asthetics performance assembly..lolx..i'm doing sound 1st time 4 choir and CO! lolx..i drew out a plan..of mics and all..hahaz..used up to 17 channels in all..2 4 music..and da cool thing was..i did not feedback! lolx.. =P i was quite scared when i tried to pump volume at 1st..so afraid of feedbacking..lucky 4 mi..there ain't no feedback..lolx.. =P da crew performed splendid on dat day also..it was zero mistakes..lower sec crew are starting to make a head 4 themselves liaoz..hehe..okiez.. now on to sunday..as usual..went church..hehe..it was..3rd time le? lolx..however..pastor prince still keeps mi wanting to go to church each week..his sermons were..1 of a kind..hehe..now i dun go church to juz be able to join their av there le..i'm kinda more of going to listen to da pastor's sermon..hehe..hmmm..alritez.. arh..dis week..is IT week..hehe..IT club is hell bz..lolx..on sat there will be a robotic competition open 4 primary schs..event taking place in our sch hall..hehe..but..i dun get to do sound..hmmm..sad..nvm..lolx..coz there is quite alot of media involve...n i tink i nid to train daryl more on it..if not arh..dat blurhead dunno nething.. =P hmmm..alritez..today..ya..usual..sch..dan IT club..hehe..dam tired today..dunno y.. gotta slp soon le..oh ya..today..something joon tat said made mi change mi mind of da possible route i might take up next time when i grow up..i had actually thought of doing full time av..but i'm also afraid i might not be able to get into dat industry..joon tat adviced mi to try taking up courses like programming if i enter poly..so dat if i can't make it into da AV world out there..there wuld be a backing 4 mi..hehe..thx joon tat! ;) hmmmm...had a small argument with cheryl juz now..sorri dear..okiez.. i promise..i wun tok bout christainity or god next time le..aye..okiez..if i can recall more of happenings dis few days..i will blog back quite soon..if not..expect delay of about a week or so b4 next blog..next week is CA week..lotza CAs..sianz..kkz..i go slp le..cyaz ppl! gdniteZ!
Posted at 10:29 pm by gyro-plodder
Jul 31, 2004
HOO HA! back in new shape! ;)
HOO HA! ppl.. lolx.. how long haven i blog.. not counting da shouting 1....hmmmm...wah.. nearly a mth le.. lolx.. so sorri.. haven had much to blog.. and had many many things to rush..tired and all.. but now.. almost everything settled le.. hehe.. so back in new shape.. happy again! hehe..okiez.. bout da shouting blog..ignore it lahz..juz too bloody stress dat time..and some other reasons i wun 1 to say..okiez.. hmmm...juz a brief info on wad i did these few weeks.. well.. basically.. was rushing hw through all da way.. tired.. hehe.. in between got assembly to do.. lolx.. i did sound 4 both u noe? hehe.. 1 of them was racial harmony day 1.. lolx..so happy.. dis few days had more and more chance to do sound le..i wonder if i could become major in it.. i wuld really wish to.. bleahz.. =P hmmm.. wad elz.. oh.. i juz tell u all wad happen dis 2-3 days lahz.. hehe.. basically...we were suppose to sing on national day or sumthing.. hehe.. celebration lahz.. in sch.. not at kallang.. lolx..dan.. i was helping my class to choreograph da moves.. lolx.. hmmm..it looks kiddish.. hehe.. but.. aiyahz.. itz national day.. letz juz be wild 1 time.. lolx.. =P can't wait to c mi class perform on stage hehe..got cheryl inside leh.. =D oh.. and yesterday.. friday.. assembly.. mi class won da maths pyramid game!! lolx.. like our class was rank 1 of da lousiet.. now like..picking up le.. lolx.. so happy.. hehe.. hmmm..wad elz to say.. oh.. ya.. hahaz... u noe arh.. tml rite.. i'm going to church.. hahaz.. 1st time in a hundred yrs..lolx..i'm a christain but i nvr went church.. coz da church i went last time was..B.O.R.I.N.G! hehe.. tml going to New Creation Church.. same as eugene.. lolx.. can buddy with him here liaoz.. hahaz..mi uncle say.. he can try and pull mi in to da av there.. so cool.. imagine doing av at rock auditorium..hehe.. =P okiez.. erm..wad elz to say...hmmm...oh..ya..next week..national celebration le.. yea..av can finally appear again as a crew.. and working again as a crew.. though i'm afraid..after so many weeks of domancy..wonder if da crew can be up to working condition not..hmmm...nvm lahz.. we shall see.. hehe...okiez.. nth to blog le.. so..cyaz!
Posted at 08:01 pm by gyro-plodder
Jul 27, 2004
i nid to shout.. 4giv mi..
SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUT!SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUT!
hmmm.. much betta le.. okiez.. cyaz..
Posted at 10:50 pm by gyro-plodder
Jul 4, 2004
MUSICAL!! ROCK DA HSE!!! YEA!!! WOOOHHOOOO!!!! =P
lolx.. heyaz ppl! hehe.. i'm veri happy now as u can see.. compared to my previous blog.... lolx.. =P had had a FANTASTIC WONDERFUL OUT OF DA WORLD time with musical.. yea!! hehe.. i tink u guys had nvr seen mi dis happy b4.. lolx.. alritez.. i shall type da full story here.. from day 1 at kallang theatre to da curtains closing 4 da final show... hehe.. alritez.. heres da story..and reason 4 my happiness..
() DAY 1 WeDnEsDaY
alrite men.. 1st day going to kallang.. lolx.. was veri excited.. finally i got da feel dat da musical is finally taking shape.. hehe..i thought dat we were suppose to leave sch at recess time.. 10am.. but in da end i was informed dat.. we are leaving only after sch.. but we do hav 1 period off 4 lunch.. lolx.. 4 da whole day.. i couldn't concentrate on lesson..was tinking and planning wad to do at kallang.. bleahz.. =P dan.. as bell rang 4 da final period 4 mi to be in class.. i jump out of my seat.. and leave da class in a hurry.. couldn't contain my excitement liaoz.. hehe.. had a quick lunch.. dan we were told to assemble in da hall.. had a short breifing.. and poof! we were on our way! hehe..10 AV Crew all da main cast.. were assigned a bus.. hahaz.. when we were finally there at kallang.. i was nearly skipping my steps.. hehe.. we went around.. putting our stuffs in our respective rooms...after we were all quite settled, fanny instructs us to get ready.. itz da technical rehearsal time...i was in charge of da sound cues.. so i up to da balcony where they had a digital mixer and a cd player ready there... all connected to da main hse system... so cool.. 1st time i get to use a digital mixer.. hehe.. i always thought it was so complicated.. but.. after monintoring da sound person.. her name is sandra.. ya.. hehe.. i learnt how to used it at da end of da day.. not fully but at least i noe how to change da scene and such.. lolx...and their CD player was fantastic.. so fast.. lolx.. though i dun really like their loading tray.. abit tight.. bleahz.. =P as we go through da 1st technical rehearsal...nearly all da sound ppl were pissed.. dat stupid Fanny din even gave sound a chance to test our mics and EQ.. in da end we had to make do with da rehearsal.. and follow da crowd.. but nvm... we still manage to catch da sound.. lolx.. learnt alot on da 1st day itself liaoz.. so happy.. hahaz.. but stress.. coz tml will be preview...got pri sch kids coming.. almost like a show by itself liaoz...1st day.. did all da rehearsals...cues.. amendments.. all those.. okiez.. 10.15pm.. out da theatre we go.. abit bu she de.. but.. no choice.. hehe..
() Day 2 ThUrSdAy
wooohooo! 2nd day.. hahaz.. tonite got preview.. gotta be on my best shape.. lolx..suppose to hav lesson till 10..recess time.. but.. i lazy.. veri tired also... so woke up at 8.30.. in da end.. hehe.. and reach sch at 10.. juz nice to board da bus.. lolx.. da tchers din even noe i was late.. =P reach kallang.. wah.. today hiong liaoz.. immediately start work.. i went up to sound balcony again.. sandra is there liaoz.. she juz reached also.. same time as us.. hehe..fanny was chasing those actors.. they put on their costumes.. make up.. everything.. okiez.. itz time.. FULL DRESS REHEARSAL! it went on okiez.. 4 av side dat is.. but.. da actors.. they were sloppy.. too sloppy.. i guess... Fanny had gd talk or rather gd shouting with them after da rehearsal...men.. she really doesn't need a mic.. her voice is loud enough liaoz.. lolx.. after dat.. every1 refreshed..i tested my cd.. on my own.. hehe.. i was allowed to touch da mixer liaoz.. so happy.. lolx.. =P okiez.. CD checked..sound, mics checked..alritez.. here goes.. da preview nite.. slowly.. 1 sch by 1 sch enter da theatre... and some other ppl also.. dunno hu they are.. dan i say CZ! hahaz.. my pri sch.. lolx.. say ariel(michelle sister) and zhu ting(used to play basketball together 1).. hahaz.. they saw mi on da balcony.. dan.. say.. helloz! lye dat only.. nth liaoz.. lolx..okiez..when mr Kamlesh called on da intercom.. 5mins to start of event.. my heart nearly jumped out.. took some sweets.. calm myself down..show starts! and.... PWEW! it was...WONDERFUL!! PERFECT!! and Fanny.. 4 da 1st time.. was veri pleased.. and happy.. it was da 1st time dat i felt dat satisfaction when she smiled.. lolx.. ariel gave mi a thumbs up.. saying it was a nice show.. dat set mi off.. some1 said itz gd! wow! hahaz... i was so happy.. i was tinking.. hahaz.. imagine how happy i will feel if tml nite da real show was like dis.. lolx.. eugene was saying his cues were shit.. but.. to mi.. it was a veri veri well done job... i understand he makes mistake here there.. but.. having 80 over cues.. men.. he is wonderful.. lolx.. datz 4 da 2nd day! on da bus.. every1 was crazy.. so happy.. lolx..dan..there is.. tml.......oh men.. da final... da 1 chance.. to make our sch proud! =P i was telling myself to hav a gd nitez rest.. tml muz be on shape! =D
() 3rd DAY!! FINAL DAY!! Friday 2nd July 2004
wah.. finally... da last..most important day.. all da hardwork.. all da time.. itz all down to dis day.. dis..veri day...da atmosphere was almost tense...u can see da kind of anticipation.. and worries on all of our faces.. lolx.. nvr felt dis way b4.. hehe..in da morning... woke up a little late.. dan couldn't make it to sch in time.. so in da end.. i took taxi from my hse there straight to kallang theatre.. hehe..when i reached there.. hey! they are not here yet! lolx.. but i saw fanny.. hahaz.. she juz parked her bike.. or rather.. motorbike.. hehe...din noe she ride a bike.. hehe..she saw mi..wondering around outside da theatre entrance.. dunno to go in or not.. dan she ask mi to go in.. so i entered together with her.. and guess wad.. i always thought she dunno hu da av crew r.. but she recognized mi as da sound guy.. hahaz.. =P i head straight 4 da dressing room 1st.. where av supposed to put our bags and stuffs.. dan i called mr oh.. he was here already.. at da lighting control room.. so i went up to meet him.. hahaz..finally on da 3rd day i got to enter da control room.. lolx..but not 4 long lahz.. awhile only.. i was admiring their mixer.. hahaz..so chio.. and big.. i had problems even reaching over to adjust da gain.. hehe..Midas XL4..chio chio.. lolx.. =P went downstairs and met eugene.. and waiky.. da bus arrive liaoz.. hehe.. but like yesterday.. everything move veri fast.. 2 o'clock.. we are ready 4 da final rehearsal liaoz.. Fanny says she 1s dis rehearsal to be a mattenate(dunno how to spell) it juz means she 1 us to treat it like a 2nd show.. last nitez preview was da 1st.. so da atmosphere was quite tense.. every1 was wondering if we can do well 4 dis.. coz tonite is da big show itself liaoz... but.. hai.. how disappointing it turned out to be.. da actors made mistakes here and there... and were dam sloppy...4 my side.. i made a couple mistakes myself too.. and dan lighting also.. got cues wrongly.. haix...dan Fanny... i tink she also veri disappointed liaoz.. as usual.. we got screamed at.. but dan.. dis time.. she added a little encouragement 4 us.. she took out a plastic bag.. and distributed da chocolates and sweets inside 4 us.... hehe..dat particular kit kat tasted veri different... it was warm.. and it contains alot of sweet moments.. i dunno.. dat feeling is undescribable... hehe... okiez.. dinner time liaoz.. dis dinner was exceptionally..tense.. i dunno.. itz da moment liaoz.. itz do or die.. hahaz.. i din hav much dinner.. couldn't eat... no appetite.. hehe.. all mi thoughts were channeled to da performance later..hehe..i went up to da sound balcony early.. to test mi cd again.. i veri scared.. hehe... dan sandra came up and she said she needed to test da mic.. so i handed over da headphones to her.. alritez.. itz 7.30.. ppl start coming in liaoz.. okiez.. stress period.. as i c da crowd.. coming in like tap running lye dat.. i almost got choke.. lolx.. =P 3rd bell gone.. wah! stress peak point.. lolx..okiez.. track 1 on standby.. ready to play netime.. house lights dim down liaoz.. da audience cheered! MC come out.. went back in again.. and here it is.. band played da overture 1st.. dan.. hse lights fade out... curtains open! 1st track go! wah.. pwew... it worked.. hehe.. after almost 2hrs of performance... YES!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!!! as da megamix comes to an end.. da audience cheered...LOUDLY... hehe.. i was up there.. at da sound balcony.. coming close to tears... every1 was so happy to da point.. of.. i dunno..kannot describe dat kind of feeling 1... after so much of sacrifice... WE FINALLY DID IT!!! YAY!!!! CHEER!!!!!!!!! as da curtains touch down... i jumped..i really jumped... WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!! all da personnel involve.. met at backstage after da show.. wad we do? we cheered! yes!! ppl were crying.. with tears of happiness... every1 was high!! WOOHOO!!!! dat moment.. when Fanny said.. u guys were brilliant tonite.. wah... i could fly men.. i swear.. lolx.. nvr.. nvr! had i had such an experience b4.... WE DID IT!!! YAY!!!!!!!! it was simply... wonderful... it almost seem as though..10yrs of rain.. and dan suddenly... theres sunshine.. dat bright light! wow!! when da curtains open again.. i saw cheryl standing near da exit there... u noe wad? i took off.. yesh.. immediately.. i rushed straight.. and gave her a big hug! hehe... i was sooooo sooo sooooo happy... hehe.. but dan i couldn't stay with her 4 long.. i had to go clear up... we are still going back to sch....all da way back to sch.. it was cheering none stop..lolx...it was really really.. undescribable... back sch liaoz.. da usual gang of us.. went out to have supper..suppose to be a celebration.. but all of us were too tired to celebrate.. hahaz... looking back at da days.. men.. i really really.. missed it... =P
() AFTER WORDS
wad a great event it was.. hehe..okiez.. some after words.. i got to say.. ish.. i felt.. itz da 1st time i ever feel like working as a team.. and producing something wonderful.. lolx..oh and.. eugene.. dun worry.. u did great.. it was weird.. he kept tinking his lighting got probs.. lolx.. oh and.. i had a tok with sandra.. about pursuing AV as a career...and after some pointers she gave mi.. i had set my mind on taking AV as a career liaoz.. hehe.. i had gain alot of experience.. and knowledge from dis musical... and i was tinking... mb.. mb av crew finally has a new lease of life liaoz...with da experience all of us hu were involve possess... i'm sure these few of us are able to influenced da rest.. and get them to work.. hehe.. okiez.. i can't tink of nething elz liaoz.. lolx.. going watch EURO finals later.. hehe.. cyaz..
Posted at 10:45 pm by gyro-plodder
Jun 22, 2004
collapsing like cardboard....
hiyaz guyz.. back again... not in da mood... so..sorri... musical rehearsal has started... intensive... datz wad took mi so long to blog again... in between..there are av trainings...which basically means...every single day i hav to go back to sch... on top of dat.. i still hav my pile of homework to do... which i dun tink i will be completing it netime soon... considering da time i hav... + there is tuition 4 mi.. and tuition hw... u noe wad.. i can practically c da sky dropping down on mi... and i feel..tired.. and exhausted carrying it.....oh ya.. and on top of ALL these things...there is still cheryl....i love my work... i love her too... but.. when it comes to balancing them... i'm a complete nutz.... in simple terms... i'm stressed out... i can't focus nemore... to acheive complete concentration.. i need to giv up 1 of them.....but apparently... it is sumthing i kannot do...wad shld i do... can some1 PLS... tell mi... i've already told cheryl.. everything bout it....but.. dis few days.. everynite... theres nth but quarrel....i'm scared... quarreling everyday..everynite.. is not a gd sign...i thought after dat exam period... she wuld be okie... but.. suddenly.. everything comes back... i dunno y ish she being so sensitive bout things... or izzt mi? i dunno... mb i'm really too stress to judge things.. i kannot blame her.... i kannot say nething at all....4 i was da 1 hu took up da musical job....and when there is job.. there is no other space 4 her.. i tried to squeeze her in... together with da job.. it juz dun work.... i will really collapse... mb i hav neglected her..... datz y i hurt her so much....at 1st... i took in all dat she has to say about mi... those.. not so nice things... i understand.... but as it continues day after day... all da quarreling.. i start to... can't take it nemore.... whenever we quarreled... i can't concentrate on my work.. and i will juz sit there.. stare at da screen.. or da phone.....i'm hurt myself... veri...i dunno whether she noes anot... things she say..... or da things she do... sometimes.. itz like.. a sword piercing through mi..... but i stand firm... i dun dare to admit da pain....4 i had caused her pain.... & i tink.. it shld be fair.. dat i receive it myself....itz like.. 4 mi.. i'm carrying wounds everyday to sch.. to each rehearsal.. each av training.... i dunno wad elz i can do to stop dis stabbing of each other.... i've did my best.. to fork out as much time as i could to be with her.....all these wounds... all da pain... it ever crossed my mind... to juz end my life....no pain... no stress... free from da evil clutches of da realistic world...but dan again... am i to juz leave dis cruel world... and leave cheryl behind? no.. of coz not... so i fight on... i believe...dat... dis might juz be a huge obstacle to overcome....now... i'm staring at da little angel she gave mi as bedae present last yr...i've always kept it beside my comp to remind myself.... there is still some1 there hu needs u to attend to other dan ur work....haix... i dunno.... i'm going bongkus... i dunno how it will work out 4 us da next 1/2 of da yr.... i hope it will be gd... i really... really.. do hope dat....haix.... tml still got av training.. i'm gonna burn midnite oil to complete all my tuition hw... tml nite still got tuition... musical sound fx still not found yet... hav to burn new disc...hav to fill in new sound cue sheet... palance dance need to edit.. mr oh gave wrong time... he say 3:20.. itz suppose to be 2:30.. guess he got it wrong way round...oh ya... hav to tink of tml's training.. wad to giv daryl... and 1 last but most important thing.... how to face cheryl..... haix... alritez.. gtg liaoz.. gdnitez guyz...
Posted at 11:52 pm by gyro-plodder
Jun 13, 2004
heyz.. i specially put up dis post to tok bout sumthing... sumthing datz coz of mi.. dat made 4 ppl upset and angry... i noe itz mi fault...i knew you all had a meeting at 1.30...i noe everything.... yesh..but i still ask her out to mi hse....i'm trying to make an apology here...i shldn't hav ask her over....i'm willing to take full responsibility here... but i hav only 1 request..... dun... dun put all da blame on her...... she has nth much to do with it... itz coz... i couldn't bear to let her go... datz y she was so late.....i've hold dis apology back too long liaoz.....i admit i haven got da courage to admit mi mistake... but i can't bear to watch da innocent party getting all da punishment...and especially dat person is some1 hu i love deeply.. u all noe dat... or i tink u all do...dat day.. cheryl came to my hse.. so we can spend sometime together..alone... coz i will be getting veri bz due to da musical.. and i danno when we can see each other again.....i noe... u all hated dat we lied... but we were afraid dat by revealing da truth.. u all might get even more angry....i'm deeply sorri 4 dat...i hope u all can understand....and i hope u all can giv her a chance... i swear dat i wun hold her back ever again... may god strike mi if i did... giv dis frendship 1 more chance...ya? if u all 1 scold mi dan go ahead... coz i noe u all are very angry... juz making it clear.. itz not cheryl's fault....
Posted at 11:45 pm by gyro-plodder
Jun 6, 2004
blahz... holidayz.. haix..
heyaz ppl... back and bloggin 1nce more.. =P now.. wad shld i say.. hmmm.. ritez.. letz start from last thurs.. it was a gd day... hehe.. went sch 4 av clean up.. alrite.. mb not so much of a clean up.. but.. more of like.. hse shifting.. lolx.. we switch hall stores with da PE department, coz PE department currently using Hall Store 2, where da dimmer patch is.. dan it has been noticed dat da dimmer patch has been frequently whacked by da matteress used by da PE department.. so.. to prevent da dimmer patch from sustaining further damange.. we swtiched hall stores with them.. it was a massive action... we shift everything from hall store 2 out 1st..dan slowly took out our own stuffs from hall store 1.. sweep da area clean..dan slowly shift our things over..after all was done.. it was bout.. 4 sumthing already.. we started at bout 11 lye dat neway... hehe...dan edwin told us he danno say wad to mr wong..dan mr wong allow us to use da air con store 4 our meetings and such.. dan we immediately sprang to action.. we took out wadeva cleaning equipment we can find and started operation "clean up air con store" =P god.. i can tell u.. da dust in air con store is like.. nearly 5mm thick.. dat might seem little.. but imagine it as dust..u will noe itz alot..hehe.. dan u can practically open up an insect museum in there men.. all kinds of insects big or small.. u can find their dead dried up body everywhere... and datz only da dead 1s.. there were plenty of live 1 still crawling around.. lolx.. sounds pretty disgusting ain't it? =P after clean up was done.. da room definitely smell and feels cleaner and more habitable.. =P at last.. an area.. private to AV.. and can hold every1 under a single roof.. =) da next day.. went back to sch again.. but to do some freshen up only.. like.. spraying insectisides... air freshener... u noe.. hehe.. i mistook humairah's wood polisher 4 air freshner... dan went around sparying.. hahaz.. =P after dat.. all done.. daryl, humairah and mi.. went to opp. marine parade CC to play bball with chor miang, joon tat and joon tat's frend.. lolx.. it has been like.. more dan 6 mths since i last played bball.. and it definitely felt great to play again.. and to noe dat i haven lost touch yet.. =P well.. lost abit.. but at least not alot rite? hehe... after bball.. went to meet cheryl at bedok interchange.. send her home arh.. hehe.. she had CO in da morning and dan went to Plaza Sing with Shu Qi to walk around... lolx.. dan we spend sometime walking around at her hse da park there... it was really peaceful... quite lahz.. hehe.. i still tink da most peaceful time we had together was on 1st march.. at pasir ris park there... i hope i can relive dat day everyday... how nice.. =P ritez...datz bout dat day... now.. yesterday.. saturday lahz.. hehe.. morning wake up only bad luck liaoz... while cracking mi neck.. i accidentally sprained it.. ouch... bleahz.. =P dan couldn't turn more dan 15 degree to either left or right... at 1st was only left..dan danno y spread to right side also...in da end.. had to go c doc at nite.. doc gave mi some kinda massage.. dan it felt betta after dat.. lolx...today.. nth much to report on.. coz da whole day was spend pretty much doing nth.. hehe... went down to see hp juz now.. and i realised.. hmmm.. 3200 isn't dat bad.. cheap also.. consider getting it.. hehe... no.. i mean.. i tink i'm getting it liaoz.. coz compared with 7250i.. i tink 3200 is betta.. juz dat i dun really like itz keypad datz all.. =P oh ya.. juz now got harry potti and soccer stone.. =P ritez.. itz harry porter and da socerers stone.. hehe.. channel 5 is so stupid.. 1 show muz split 2 days... today and tml.. so lame.. hahaz.. neway... tml gotta go SGH in da morning.. sianz.. go 4 some stupid checkup 4 da back.. hmmm.. another lame thing... bleahz.. =P haix.. 2 days nvr c cheryl liaoz.. already missing her... ish like.. every moment.. i can imagine da smell of her hair.. i can imagine her sweet smile... hmmmm....she is appearing all da time in mi mind...but when i want to hug her.. she is not there.. haix.. miss her lotz.. nvm.. survive through tml.. tuesday i will get to see her liaoz.. yay!! =P <---sound like a despo.. hehe.. mb i'm not.. i juz love her too much.. =D alritez.. datz all folks! =P cyaz!
Posted at 11:09 pm by gyro-plodder
May 29, 2004
Learn@Quest..crap...and TMP..
alrite ppl... hehe.. okie.. today gonna tok bout.. da sc centre competition.. Learn@quest thingy.. personally.. i tink.. it shld be called Learn@crap... is like arh.. we go there.. is juz to so called "giv our support" to da launch of da event only lohz...kanasai...dan we like..waste da whole morning there doing nth... hahaz.. but 1 thing we did... was mi 1st time connecting to a WLAN with a wi-fi enabled palmtop.. lolx.. so fun.. hehe.. instant information at hand.. hahaz..dan later.. nearing da end liaoz... cheryl say her mum say wad TMP.. dan got alot thing.. wad mi mum wanna us to break lahz.. dan tcher also want us to break.. but dan later go home.. realise it was actually all a misunderstanding.. but cheryl.. i dunno whether she is too shock or wad.. she doesn't seem willing to believe dat it was only a misunderstanding... mb she has some thought in mind? i dunno... i dun 1 to noe.. tml go do da fire emergency drill CIP, we are going to ask miss lee and get things straight... mb dan she will believe... ritez.. today datz bout all not veri long... coz most of da day was dedicated to learn@quest.. it was so lame.. hehe.. okiez.. cyaz guyz...
Posted at 09:20 pm by gyro-plodder
May 28, 2004
wah hahahaz... heyaz ppl !!!! itz been.. almost.. OMG!! a MTH since i last blog... or more dan dat..2 mths.. hahaz... =P sorri arh.. coz really got LOTZA work to do.. hehe.. ritez..so long nvr update.. dunno wad to say liaoz.. hahaz.. so many things happened.. lolx... hmmm... mb i shall start with afterworld.. since datz when i stopped blogging.. lolx... ritez.. on general terms... afterworld....is.. CRAP.. really... noe y? i screwed up da thing... everything went screwed.. rehearsals weren't even properly done and they rush into da event liaoz... backstage screwed da mikes.. i played music wrongly.. i mean.. as in.. over da supposed time i was suppose to stop... haix.. it was total S.H.I.T lahz.. i dawan to say.. later i sad only... sob sob*.. =P ritez.. juz kidding.. hehe... dan there came speech day.. another S.H.I.T... haix... like god is throwing shit at us u noe? piak piak piak... all rain down.. haiyohz.. even with umbrella... da umbrella will become too heavy dan collapse with 1 whole pile of god's defecates on us... haix... ritez.. dan there came.. mid yr...went cheryl hse everyday to study... wah.. 1st time i piang like sai lye dat... hahaz... thought in da end.. din score well... as usual.. only mi sc got A1.. but is juz manage to get A1 only..wasn't too happy.. haix.. dan..maths.. last yr get B3 always de...dis yr? FAIL...plonk! down to E8 wad shit.. haix... dan mi history.. coz haven got time to finish paper.. so fail also.. haix.. *knock head on wall* stupid sie... tml got a competition... Learn@quest.. sianz...havto reach jurong east MRT station by 7.40..crazy rite? dan after dis.. only got 2 weeks exactly to do hw... hols hw.. which is like.. 1 whole shit load.. haix.. coz after dat... june 15th start.. musical start liaoz.. hav to work near everyday from morning to nite... haix... will die arh.. and is all da way to july 2nd.. wad shit.. i will hav like 3 whole weeks seperated from cheryl... haix.. by dat time i dunno how to tell her how MUCH i will miss her.. haix... 3 whole weeks.. god...ritez... dis blog ain't much.. but datz a veri brief summary of da things dat had happened over da past weeks... hehe.. ritez.. will blog bout tml's competition.. cyaz guys! (and galz too! =P )
Posted at 09:08 pm by gyro-plodder
